


Four Seasons

by lattedi



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Cheating, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Suicide, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, I don't know this is my first time writing real original characters, I was listening to four seasons when I wrote this, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, M/M, Original Character(s), Pansexual Character, Physical Abuse, Sad Ending, Suicide, Toxic Relationship, Toxic friendship, bruh there's so much angst, by rex orange county, literally all of those were trigger warnings, panphobia, please go listen to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27772780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lattedi/pseuds/lattedi
Summary: Ferris couldn't leave Jon, because he loved him.-----there's a bunch of stuff in this story, this is my first real attempt at writing original characters, so please be nice, and I know it's short and fast, but that's how this one works, it's a drabble–Please look in the tags for triggersI'm really bad at summaries bro, but this is based on the fact that I was listening to four seasons by rex orange county while I was writing this, so go listen to it if you haven'tAlso, my stupid tablet won't let me put in notes, but I hope you enjoy this trainwreck of 1 AM feelings
Relationships: Ferris Day/Jonathan Ramirez
Kudos: 2





	Four Seasons

Ferris had known he was pansexual for a while. At first, he thought he was just bi, but when someone had told him what being pan meant, he realized that he felt most comfortable with that label.

Today was the day he had decided to tell his closest friend, Jonathan. Jonathan was someone he'd known since he was in preschool, and Ferris loved him, he truly loved him, maybe a bit more than a platonic level of love, but he wouldn't focus on that for now.

Fear and nervousness washed over him. Ferris was terrified, but he knew Jon was kind, and he hoped that the person he had known for 13 years would be supportive.

They were playing Minecraft in the basement when Ferris said, "I have something to tell you."

And Jon closed Minecraft entirely and turned to him with concern and curiosity. "What is it?" He said softly.

Ferris swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. He eventually managed to say, "I'm pansexual, I'm pan, Jon."

Jon's kind and understanding expression was gone, replaced by a hardened, cold-looking face. 

"You like everyone? How fucking gross, what a slut," Jon said bitterly. His voice dripped with disgust, and Ferris knew he had made the wrong decision.

Jon threw his head back and laughed. Ferris started to shake, and his nervousness was replaced with a slowly trickling regret.

Once Jon had stopped laughing, he said, "You must be confused. Either that, or you're a whore."

Ferris felt a tear roll down his cheek. He had hoped Jon would be accepting, and he was wrong, he was so, so, wrong. He shouldn't have said anything.

Jon turned Minecraft back on dismissively, and Ferris shrank into himself and joined the world as Jon continued as though he hadn't just invalidated his closest friend.

"What should we build today?" 

\-----

Ferris didn't leave after that.

He knew that he needed to, but he loved Jon too much to do that, and whenever he considered it, he began to think about how alone Jon would be, how alone he himself would be.

He didn't leave when Jon outed him to his entire school and caused slurs to get spray-painted onto his blood colored locker.

He didn't leave when he told Jon that he wanted to move to California and Jon accused him of trying to leave his best friend.

He didn't leave when Jon asked him out, took him home, and beat him after the first date.

He didn't leave when Jon put tracking devices, parental controls, and screen recorders onto his phone and began controlling his every move.

He didn't leave when Jon took his virginity without his consent.

He didn't leave when he found out that Jon was cheating on him with a woman.

He didn't leave when Jon proposed to him and, when he said he needed to think about it, beat him into saying yes.

He didn't leave when they got married and Jon punched him for most of their honeymoon.

He didn't leave when Jon brought home three friends from work and they raped him. And, looking back on it, it was definitely rape.

He didn't leave because he loved Jon, and he was scared of being alone.

But Ferris was leaving now. He felt the cold metal against the side of his head and closed his eyes. He loved Jon, but this was the only true way out of the cage.

He pulled the trigger, and his mind went blank.


End file.
